My heart needs to write today but my head just happens to be pretty empty.
It could possibly be that my heart needs to write because it doesn't want to do the dishes, sometimes my heart can be like that, but it pulls nonetheless. I stayed up way too late last night......finishing a book. I rushed it, I hate when I do that. I rushed the ending and now I am in a curl up and read kind of mood and all I have is one of Ben's dental journals that came in the mail. They can be boring and lame but sometimes I get desperate. Ok I might just be a little bit of a closet "townie"(for those of you who can appreciate that) but it too stems from desperation. A good book is like having treats in the cupboard, I can try and slowly enjoy them but in the end they just disappear way too fast and I'm hungry again. Hungry enough to read about surgical techniques involving soft tissue graphs.
Did you know that our saliva is filled with antibodies and it is by instinct that we stick our finger in our mouth when we get cut? Instinct. And when a mother sees her child get hurt, it is a natural instinct to kiss it better as a way of transferring our saliva filled with antibodies to the wound. Instinct, that's amazing huh. I rolled this around in my head for awhile and I liked it. The rest of the journal was dead boring.
This week my head has been daydreaming, a lot. Ideas, dreams, inspiration and a rush of excitement for the experience of life has been rolling through me. It all started on Monday with the MLK holiday, and sure I'd like to say that's what inspired me but no, I'm pretty sure it was watching Newsies that got me all a buzz. That darn "Santa Fe" song will do it to me every time. That night Ben and I layed on the trampoline and talked dreams. He only agreed to do this after realizing that I am absolutely terrible at crack the egg.
We talked dreams....and plans.
He and I have been dreamers for a long time.
I love talking plans with him.
He knows me.
I know him.
We used to surprise each other with what we said.
That was back when we were rollerblading down the streets of Provo at midnight.
We don't surprise each other anymore.....but we still talk plans.
I tell him I desperately want to live in an old van down by the ocean, with a couple of bikes strapped to the back.....and sit on the steps and watch the sunset.
He laughs, he knew I'd say that.
He tells me he isn't going to school for 11 years to live in a van.
I frown. I knew he'd say that.
He tells me that he is going to school for 11 years so he can be a cowboy.
I smile, I knew he'd say that.
A cowboy and a free spirit temporarily making camp in Kentucky.
It's a good story, I'm anxious to know how it turns out.
But I've learned my lesson......the middle is the best part.
I'm not rushing the ending.
10 comments:
First of all, I am wondering what book you were reading?? Second of all, I just want to say that my husband, too, wants to be a cowboy. So if you want to have neighboring ranches in say, 20 years...we're in.
The best part is that there is no ending, right?
At least you're at the end-ish of the school part. 4 more years here. Thanks for the reminder that the here and now is the best.
I am happy that you and all of us can get something out of those dental journals. Yay for antibodies and kisses!!
I'll tell you the ending!! Spoiler alert! You move to Grants Pass Oregon!
Good post! It made me feel happy. Sometimes I think dreaming is actually the best part of the whole process.
~Marti
Carly- I always love reading your posts. You have got some serious talent. :)
Good post. I like the cowboy and the old van part. When we out-live our husbands I will live in a van with you.
Get a magazine subscription.
1.They are good because you can put them down easier when your kids need you rather than locking yourself in the closet while they scream outside the door. (don't act like that hasn't happened)
2.I'll stop telling you to get a life, when you stop reading Dental Town.
I can see you two playing crack the egg. That is why I miss you guys.
I miss you Carly. I need to read your blog more often, because then it makes me want to write . . .something I've been slacking on lately.
Love you!
This made me tear up a little. John laughed at me. Is the middle really the best part? Man I got to change my attitude!
Love you...did you get my e-mail about the first grader who got suspended?
I am reveling in a good book right now, "THe Help", have you read it? I can only wait and dream of the day I read yours?
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