One year older....and hopefully a little more wise.

I really like feeling special on my birthday....Ben not so much. It's just another day to him. I disagree, I don't mind feeling like everything is about me for one day. Yesterday I turned 29......I actually thought I was turning 28 until last week when I was informed that it was 2009. This is slightly embarrassing I realize, when your born in 1980 you really shouldn't have a hard time calculating how old you are. Well to be honest when you're an almost 30 year old adult you should probably know what year it is.
Even though I lost a year in one week, I had one of those birthdays that made me feel like I was wonderful..........this was mostly due to the fact that my sweet sister-in-law Jenny followed me around all day telling me I was. I really like her. They flew in from DC to visit and they made my weekend. We had a wild night on the strip last night, and by wild I mean two scoops of gelato and we didn't take the mini van. I've got no pictures to prove it, you'll just have to believe me. Wild stuff. I already miss them.

CRAZY "PETE"

When my gal cousins and I spent a month safariing in Australia, we came across this guy way out in the outback who had a....well sort of zoo. You paid to go in and see his animals but once he closed the doors you were locked in and you played by his rules. This guy was crazy....actually his name really was Crazy Pete. This name should have been a warning to us, but we were naive and foreign. Pete's MO was basically if he sensed you were nervous you were fresh bait, and he pounced. He smelled fear and it brought out his crazy.
Don't believe me........here you go.
first victim....my cousin Rochelle.............standing off looking a little apprehensive, Crazy Pete throws a bucket of feed at her and lets all the animals loose in the yard to attack her (think huge wild Kangaroos). He laughs, she might have cried.
second victim.....my cousin Suzi.........laughing nervously, Pete dumps a bucket of feed on her head and calls the Ostrich's to eat. Her beautiful blond hair goes flying.
third victim....my cousin Stacee......looks at the ground when he asks for volunteers, she gets thrown in a pile of old dirty lambs wool.
Don't think we weren't looking for an exit during all this, but you couldn't get out and if you acted like you wanted too, Pete started grinning at you, and your stomach dropped.
Good times, the memories from that month are some of the best and funniest of my life. Every once in awhile something stirs up those memories...
This little guy brings Crazy Pete right back.



Sophie may be smiling but don't be fooled, she keeps a close eye on him. When he gets that gleam in his eye.......she is looking for the exit.

be still my beating heart..........

Last week I left my family and spent the week rendezvousing with two old loves........the Aspen tree and the Fir. I'm not ashamed to admit it, when I first caught sight of them my eyes welled up with tears. This private moment was slightly embarrassing in front of my young women but by the time the week was over they were pretty used to it. We had to drive almost four hours but in the end we did discover something that still surprises these Vegas girls.....real grass and flowers growing spontaneously.

I was in heaven. Waking up every morning to the sight of an Aspen tree nestled in the arms of a Fir tree.....seriously is there a more beautiful combination in the whole world? I dare say not. To complete my adoration I was eager to pull myself out of my sleeping bag extremely early to trail run through the beauty. Eager because the sun was glistening through the trees and the run ended in a meadow.......A MEADOW.......... are you kidding me? I now know that it is not the early hour at which my children wake me that causes my less than happy attitude but the fact that there is no meadow in my living room to wake up to. Dirty laundry just doesn't do it for me, I obviously just need a tree lined meadow to awaken my inner morning person.

Oh you beautiful trees you did not disappoint. I could frolic through you for weeks on end. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. It was good to see our love hasn't dimmed, I still think we look awfully good together.

When I got home Luke says to me " Mommy, is it ok to say the word clumsy?"
I said "well, sure I guess.....I mean it's not a bad word."
to which he replied "ok then, mommy your clumsy."
Welcome Home.
And you know what?
I do feel clumsier down here in the sage brush.

"Four" you...........

"Four" my boy on his birthday.
I truly don't remember life without you.
You make me smile.
A lot.

I love your ideas.
I love how excited you get when
you try to explain them to Olivia.
I love listening to you talk.

You are the perfect dichotomy
of wild enthusiasm and sweet gentleness.

What a blessed four years,
I'll take "four"ever more please.

Last night I was wrapping Luke's presents and when I finished Ben looked over and said "wow." I tend to be a utilitarian by nature and believe in function over beauty any day. I thought this served the purpose just fine, and I told him so.

He replied "deep down, you kind of like being just a little bit white trash don't you?"

"Do I ?" I thought.......after a few moments of honest self-reflection I realized he was right. When I looked at my wrapping job I really did like it, I thought it was charmingly cute. We can't all be Martha Stewart.....I've personally never wanted to be. That world tends to bore me. BUT if I had to be Martha Stewart I would make this cake, it's the first one I've ever made that actually came out of the pan without crumbling, then when I added food coloring to my store bought frosting to make it green I thought "what's come over me, that's just genius"...then I crushed oreos and put Luke's matchbox cars on and made coconut grass .....the creative juices were flowing, it was a brief moment and then it passed and I became myself again and decided to only frost the side that was facing the camera. What can I say, functionality rules. It's starting to make sense why I was so quickly released as the enrichment counselor.

Childhood Milestones.......

So my girl graduated Kindergarten. I get to have her back all day, everyday. I'm fighting the urge to run away to the mountains. She keeps asking when 1st grade starts. ummmm if I had my way, never.

And well it was inevitable, every track star eventually suffers some kind of sports related injury. Or maybe they spend all day jumping off everything, then go to bed and get their arm stuck between the wall and the bed and end up in the emergency room. After everything this boy does and never gets more than a scratch, you can imagine I wasn't to concerned about an injury that happened while lying in bed. You can understand that I might have yelled out to him to just "go to sleep, I'm sure you're fine." You can understand that maybe I waited until he woke back up in the middle of the night screaming before I believed him. You can understand that right? well the nurses in the ER didn't seem to, they sure gave me the "I wonder if she even fed him dinner" look....I don't think the ratty workout pants and greasy hair helped my cause. But I mean come on, I did put on a bra, I think that shows that I am obviously a responsible member of society.

I personally think there is a great deal of "greasy-pony-tail-ism" in this country, I swear people just treat those who have showered, dressed and put on makeup like they are in a higher class. It's wrong. I've decided to fight this discrimination.....I'm pretty sure Casey will join me.

COURTSHIP.........

As a general rule of thumb I think it's important to try and be the kind of Mother who makes her children feel like their presence is desired. When I had already made three trips to the bathroom by 7:30 this morning just to avoid my children I knew something had to change. I scrapped my to-do list for the afternoon and resolved to accomplish one thing........fall back in love with my job. Every month or so this happens, usually on a Monday, and if I don't do something about it right away it sets a tone for the whole week.......and I uhh don't think I have to tell you how that tone sounds.

I'm a firm believer in courtship. The rules of courtship are basically to get away from the daily grind, do something you enjoy with someone you love and remember why you love them, why you chose them, and why you're lucky to go through life together. The rules of courtship with your children are one in the same. Every relationship needs reminding. Every relationship takes work. Every relationship becomes dull without a little sharpening.

When it comes to "courting" my children the simpler the better. They take after their Mother's heart and find the greatest joy in exploring outside. Being a mom has recomfirmed my long standing belief in the healing power of the outside world. Every "outing" needs to accomplish basically four main points in order to restore affection between us all.

#1: fresh air(ie space) a little breathing room for us all to walk our own pace and exhale without someone in our face. (read: the square footage of our condo is shrinking by the hour)

#2: A spontaneous break from responsiblity. I was suppossed to be doing laundry, Olivia was suppossed to be cleaning her room, Luke was suppossed to not be jumping on Olivia while she cleaned her room, and Sophie was suppossed to not be unrolling toilet paper down the hall. Sometimes you just gotta walk away and deal with "suppossed to's" later.

#3: Attention.....umm this is mostly from me. I am not always the most "present" with my children, this week I blame it on Mr. Steinbeck and one library copy of "East of Eden." I find myself staring past my children while they talk to me sometimes...........of course I'm not proud of this. I guess I need to step up my game and not just be a warm body.

#4: Sweat........yeah you heard me right. A little exertion releases the tension, and perhaps my personal favorite side effect, you can't whine when you are breathing hard.

Today we dressed up and headed out for a little biking/rain dancing. Olivia was really the only one who didn't give up on the rain dance, she truly believed and I didn't have the heart to tell her that a rain dance in the desert is more about the dance and less about the rain.

After a few hours I looked at my children and thought "gosh dang they're cute"
and just like that, there it was, the "spark" was back.
Sometimes even with unconditional relationships.....
Love is a choice.

Track Star......

He's so cool.

seriously.

Look at the air he catches over the hurdles.

His next event was time-out....

right after an extremely accurate "shot put" at his sister's head.

Fashion sense.....

Sunday morning Olivia came into my room wearing a little something she threw together. She raised both her hands and said " Now just wait, before you say anything, I want you to remember something......it doesn't matter what you look like or the clothes you wear it's what is in your heart that counts. So I will be wearing this to church today."

Touche' my dear.
Unfortunately, this particular ideology becomes flawed when I can see your panties.

After I patiently explained the balance between not judging appearances yet still being a modest member of society, Olivia was quiet for a moment then said "it's my hair isn't it, you think it's too fluffy."

oh dear.
Let me put this a different way....... umm I'm your mother, go put on a church dress.

Apparently she felt her creative freedom was severely stifled after having to wear an actual church dress to church so she came home redressed herself and then feeling like she had more to offer to the world, proceeded to dress up Sophie Kate. So in case you missed it the first time here is Sophie Kate in her blessing dress. This worked out fine for me since I forgot to get pictures of her when she was actually blessed. Sophie Kate seemed quite content, I'm thinking this isn't helping with convincing her she really isn't a newborn anymore.