Wild Horses........

This morning I went out for an early morning run. The sun was just peeking over the hills and in the meadow ahead of me stood a girl with her horse in the morning mist. You're thinking this sounds like a movie aren't you? Well I happened to have my ipod actually charged and strangely the music was perfectly timed to the horse's movements....so basically I kind of was in a music video. You better believe I straightened my pony tail and corrected my posture just in case I was.

As I watched, I noticed the horse was jumpy and all over the place,while the girl patiently tried to rein him in and calm him down.
I think I said "yeah I get you" under my breath....or I could have said it louder(I haven't used my ipod in awhile).

But I said it and I felt it.
I had spent the majority of the run trying to rein in my emotions that similarly were all over the place. Jumpy, agitated.....knowing I needed calmness but not quite ready to give in to it.
My mother just left. She spent all last week with me and then one hug goodbye at the airport and she was gone. I miss her terribly.
I have lived in a different state than my mother for over six years now, but today when I got up I wasn't sure how to do it with out her.
And by it I mean life.
I'm pretty sure just a short week ago I was making dinner, and doing laundry and running errands, and raising the children and making decisions by myself.

But I don't seem to remember it, and today I'm feeling a little lost.
And when you're lost you are supposed to just stay where you are and wait for your mom to come find you.
So here I am mom.
You can come back and find me now.