This will be cool....I promise.

I had to title it that way because I am aware that what I am about to say will come across kind of lame. or all the way lame.
I'm starting a club.
This isn't my first club I've ever started.
I've started many over the years.
The club houses took various forms.
The goals were varied.
The membership was always the same.
Casey

I know she would be the first to sign up if she was here.
It's called the girls outside club.
Once a month we will get together and explore some of the awesome natural wonders around us. A hike, a trail run, some bouldering in red rock, biking, maybe kayaking at Lake Mead.....the possibilities are endless. The idea is to have a chance to experience some of the more intense hikes and activities that we really can't do with the kids. A couple of us have been doing this unofficially for awhile. So I'm making it official and opening it up to anyone who wants to join us. Just leave me your email, I have some of yours but not all. Anyway I'll be emailing you and letting you know the details each month. I will try to work around when the Dads will be home to watch kids (for those of you in Dental School that means finals). This is open to anyone and everyone so let anyone you know who might be interested....and no Kami this isn't just for you- know-who. I expect you there. It's going to be fun and give us a chance to discover some of the amazing places right in our own backyard, before we have to move to a new one.
SO sign up by leaving your email.....and if no one does, well I always have Case.

She's got our number.......

The other day Ben actually suggested we might want to hold Sophie Kate back from entering nursery in May. This idea would have been unheard of with the other two but somehow Sophie Kate has convinced us that she is still a newborn.

My sweet innocent baby is growing up but she doesn't want anyone to know it. She has us wrapped around her little finger. Ben's exact words were "come on she's not ready, she wants to stay with Daddy a little longer. She's too little." To which I responded "she is the same age as Olivia and Luke when they went in." Ben rebutted with "yeah but she is younger than they were at this age." And all the while Sophie is smiling and leaning her head on his shoulder.

Case number two, the bottom picture. See that thing in her mouth, that never would have flied with the other two. But remember she is still new, she was barely born uhhh 16 months ago.

She knows exactly what's going on.
She is awfully sweet.
With one delicious little face.

"OUT" to dinner with friends.....

Good friends mean more when you are away from family. These friends have been with us since we started this whole thing. What a blessing to share these four years with such good people. The other night we headed to the Spring Mountains for a night out.

This first picture was taken by our friend Steve......he takes awesome pictures, he really works to get just the right shot, this was the fourth picture he took but I had a hard time choosing which one to pick because they were all this good.

gimme, gimme

Ben said that after we are done

with Dental School I can get a prize.

I'm not sure how to tell him this is what I want.

I want it bad.

They are made in the Netherlands.

They are EXPENSIVE.

I really need one.

I could run all my errands around town.

This baby holds 4 kids.

I only have three.

It's so cool.

I hope he didn't mean a prize from the dollar spot.

For now we make do with this.

shhh...I know, but it's only on the backroads.

Pop Quiz.....

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person.
At least I used to...until I had kids.

Does this ever happen to you?

My children wake up first thing in the morning and start with the questions. It's usually the basics, you know the ones I can answer with my eyes closed while pouring cereal. By afternoon they've turned up the heat and the abstract "what ifs" and "whys" start coming out. One by one I'm sure the questions aren't that hard, maybe they require a little thought......but fired off like a shot gun I surrender. It's like being on a quiz show, you start second guessing every answer you think is right, anyone would break under that kind of pressure.

A simple "I don't know" doesn't work in this house. Some brilliant mom taught her first born to "just give it your best guess" whenever she didn't know the answer to something. you know, to help her develop cognitive thinking skills....this idea is now biting this brilliant mom in the backside.

Sure sometimes I pretend I didn't hear them, distract them with a snack. But then the voice inside me says "come on this is your job, it's like your running from your boss." The guilt is especially thick when it's a gospel question...I mean that's kind of a big part of the mommy contract. This is when the questions get intense, so what if I'm not right about how they make strawberry shortcake's hair smell like strawberries but I need good solid info when it comes to the eternal. It's natural to rattle off Sunday school answers, it really tests your knowledge when you have to describe a principal in 3-6 year old terms.

I thought I was doing a pretty good job, firing off answers from both sides, praying they didn't ask me to elaborate. Last night at dinner I had to laugh, they sense my weakness.

Olivia: "Mom who lived in Las Vegas when Jesus was on the earth?"
Me:(oh good, an easy one) "well Olivia IF anyone lived here it was most likely either the Nephites or the Lamanites"
Olivia: " that's a good answer mom"
Me:(taken back, this almost never happens) "why thank you"
Olivia: "well I mean good guess, because let's be honest, that's what it really was."
Me: "actually I'm pretty sure that is the right answer"
Luke:"Mommy your cocky"
Me:"Luke, do you even know what cocky means?"
Luke:" NO"
Me:"well that is ridiculously impeccable timing my dear"

Where have you been all my life.......

Olivia has been is school now for 7 months. For the first 6 months Luke rolled around the living room rubbing his head into the carpet in agony while whining "Now can we go pick up Livy...puh-leese" over and over again, while Sophie Kate kept bringing me items from Olivia's room and looking at me.

This past month while in the act of painful waiting they both
looked at each other, looked around the room and discovered
there were two of them, the toys were still there and
what do you know....life could go on.

Some may wonder why it took these two so long, I assure you these are two highly intelligent children, with advanced social skills. But remember they were brought up in a dictatorship, it's all they have ever known. The dictator(Olivia) sets the rules, makes up the games, distributes toys, tells them what to say and it what accent to say it. Suddenly thrown into a democracy the learning curve was slow, but this past month has shown great progress. A new duo was formed, a friendship found.

These two have suprised me with the new ways they have come up with to have fun, the possibilites are endless...there's a new sheriff in town.....at least until 12:00 when they gladly hand over the badge and take their place in line. Loyal subjects to the dictator they love.....having a sibling is a beautiful thing.

Banff Mountain Film Festival....

Last night Ben and I headed out on the town for a rare night out. The annual Banff Mnt Film festival came through town and we were ready and waiting with a babysitter for four sweet hours. This is a tradition we started back in college when I worked at the Outdoor Rec office and we hosted the event, after we moved to Vegas Ben and I were thrilled to hear that it stopped here too.

As always it didn't dissapoint, it was pure mountain-culture-awesome. And as always there was some idiot behind us spouting off about how cool he was, and how "dude he could totally do all that stuff too." See it was just like college.

For an extra special treat Andrew was in town for the B-ball tournament so we got to swing by the strip and pick him up. It was fun to see him, if only for a few hours, and even though they said you couldn't bring treats into the theatre we brought him in anyway. Thanks for the fun night boys.

Did I say that.....

Last Sunday I shot my mouth off and now I'm paying the price. I casually mentioned, after eating a bowl of brownies and ice cream the size of my head, that I could go a whole month without wanting sugar again. That's all Ben needed..."okay, done" he said. "one month, your on." (he gets great delight out of bets he knows he'll win)

Past experience has proven I didn't stand a chance. A few years ago Ben decided to go off sweets for a whole year. He's one of those people that says it and does it, no questions asked. I seem to lack this internal determination. I told him I would do it too, six hours later my Dad brought down some red vines and I declared "I'm out."

One month, that's not so bad.
By Monday I was in tears.

Ben agreed to change the bet to letting me have treats on Sunday. So now I had to go just a week at a time. The days dragged on, I started rationalizing. I need that 2:00 sugar rush, I can't mother without it.....well at least not good mothering. I didn't realize how often I was grabbing a little pick-me-up during the day until I spent Tuesday wandering aimlessly around the kitchen. And if anyone tries to tell you differently...fruit doesn't cut it, neither do stale raisins. The teddy grahams stared at me, the fruit snacks mocked me....even the old box of pudding in the back of the cupboard started looking like creme' brulee.

It's going to be a long week, I'm trying to figure out how to convince my Young Women that we should bring carrot sticks and crackers to the combined activity tonight instead of the doughnuts they all wanted. The doughnuts that I have to pick up, and drive in the car with, and smell....if you see me in the church parking lot tonight sitting in my car with tears in my eyes, drive on. This is a fight I must fight alone, and the prize.....not having to see Benjamin's smug "I told you so" face.

Cheering Section........

The other day Ben shared with me an experience that I found very poignant.

He doesn't usually write things down.
I do.

I don't want to forget it, it taught me a great lesson.
A lesson that I have a hunch I will probably need to learn again and again.
I'm complicated that way.

When you're married you can plagiarize experiences, I'm pretty sure that's in the rules somewhere.

We were watching a late night talk show,
Ben had the thought
"what a life, how would it be to walk into a room
and have people stand up and cheer
just because you walked in."

A few days later Ben came home from school,
I could tell from his face he had a long day.
He walked in the door and Sophie Kate
turned around from her book
and started clapping and calling his name.
He looked at me, for the sake of a good story
I'm going to say a little misty eyed. His face said it all.
What a life huh.

I think as mothers, particularly stay-at-home mothers,

we all struggle at some point with this need.
The need to be noticed.
To feel like we still matter, to someone.
In a world that lives for accolades, the daily life of a

mother can sometimes make you feel forgotten.

It occurred to me this week,
a little tender mercy for my heart,
that when my sweet baby claps for me and smiles at me...
.....she's not the only angel in the room who's clapping.